“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~Maya Angelou
Montana summers are exquisite. We spend summers visiting our grown children and grandsons in Helena, Montana. Among my favorite activities in Montana, besides the grandkids, is visiting the Helena Farmer’s Market on Saturdays. The market is in the downtown area, bustling with generally happy and friendly people. Vendors are selling food, homegrown fruits and vegetables, and, my favorite, crafts. One particular summer in 2019, before Covid isolation and shutdowns, I was at the Farmer’s market, perusing the booths with handmade earrings. I remember one artist was selling ‘repurposed’ earrings. This intrigued me, so I stopped to inquire. She creatively used old pictures from magazines, cut them, and put them on recycled light metal pieces. There were pictures of flowers, shapes, and leaves, all in various colors. I bought two pairs of them. I also took a pamphlet she had on her website to purchase more. I pondered the thought of being repurposed in my own life.
I had recently retired from a forty-year career in nursing. I retired to join my husband in caregiving for his mother, Kate, who suffered from dementia. I considered myself still working in my profession until, after two years, she lost her battle with the disease. I was, then, truly retired. I felt I was sliding into a dark abyss, losing my sense of meaning and purpose. What is a lifelong nurse supposed to do if there are no patients to care for? As an avid reader, I read books about retirement: Rethinking Retirement by John Piper, An Uncommon Guide to Retirement by Jeff Haanan, Launch your Encore, by Hans Finzel and Rick Hicks. These books inspired me to seek meaning and purpose in my retirement years.
I have never been one to miss an opportunity to return to school; I have a passion for learning and studying. I considered teaching English as a second language. I have been on medical mission trips in different countries, and my nursing practice as a Family Nurse Practitioner in rural healthcare centers brought me patients, from many cultures and countries. And so, I took a 3-month course and became a certified TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages). I started teaching at a local community college 2 evenings a week. I enjoyed it, but it was clear to me that it did not meet my need to get to know my students’ lives. I then explored tutoring for literacy and continued serving as a volunteer, helping a young man with severe dyslexia. I finished two college-level courses in literacy, the science of reading, thinking I could transition as a reading specialist. But again, although I enjoy it, it does not fulfill me as nursing did.
I found myself slipping into the abyss. I was desperate to find my purpose and meaning, my encore work for these retirement years. Caregiving for Kate, leaving my profession, and selling our country home to provide her care, left me isolated and lonely. I thought perhaps taking care of our grandsons full-time in the summer would satisfy my loss of purpose. We had purchased a small house, just miles from them, to stay in part-time when visiting. We decided to spend the entire summer of 2022 in Montana for summer childcare. . Again, although rewarding, I felt empty. I love my grandsons but needed to find some community of adults. I spent an afternoon in the library, one of my favorite places! I can not say this wasn’t divine intervention, but I found a book, “Life is in the Transitions” by Bruce Feiler. I checked it out and began reading. It so powerfully moved me that I had to purchase it to highlight and write notes in the margins! He writes about the power of writing and telling our life stories. He mentioned Dr. James E. Birren, a gerontologist who has researched and written about the benefits of writing stories based on life themes. His process is called Guided Autobiography (GAB).
My heart was bursting! Life storytelling resonated with me. I realized that I missed my patients' and students' stories! I searched for Dr. Birren and found his website for Guided Autobiography writing. I purchased the book, “Writing your Legacy,” By Richard Campbell and Cheryl Svensson. Again, not by accident, there was an instructor course beginning in September, and they had one opening! I signed up. It is as though I was created for this for my entire life. I have found my ‘repurposed life.’ Writing my own story and helping others write theirs is my encore work! I am thrilled to be on this journey, and I hope you will consider joining me!